Illegal Immigrants & Maddox.

OK, so I recently "rediscovered" Maddox's little blog sorta site, and stumbled across some very funny (And correct) articles, like the one on Apple, the one on the iPhone, the one on Sony, amongst others. I also stumbled on one on illegal immigrants and why they deserve the same wages as everyone else... I don't deny that they should be paid the same wages as everyone else, however I disagree with some of the other things he said, and wish to present some valid points to the other side of the argument.

Before I start, let me say that I am in no way racist (Except for when I'm being racist) and have nothing against any ethnic groups or minorities (Except the ethnic groups and minorities I have something against).

Firstly, Maddox states that illegal immigrants aren't "taking jobs away" from people, but are "being given jobs" by the companies that hire them. While I do agree with this point, the other side of the argument has it's valid points too... The only reason the immigrants are getting these jobs in the first place is because many of them tend to pay minimum wage, which most people with some form of education and literacy in the English language won't work for. Why do they pay minimum wage? Because they know the illegal immigrants will work for it and will do a damn good job of it. Problem is, if the illegal immigrants never moved to the country in the first place, the jobs wouldn't pay minimum wage, and legal immigrants and native citizens of the country would work the job instead. There are certain jobs which I often see handled by illegal immigrants, but know a lot of people would be willing to work if it paid a little better. Illegal immigrants have a tendency to lower the average wage at the lower end of the spectrum, creating an even larger gap between the poorer, and the wealthier people. Other than that, I have no problem with immigrants. Heck, even with that I have no problem with them, because I don't plan on working these kinds of jobs for much longer once I'm done with university and have a degree. I just think it screws with the economy a little bit. I couldn't care less who's working a job, if they do it just as well as the next guy for the same amount, more, or less pay. I just don't care.

Secondly, certain jobs should just require fluency in the native language. When I go to a fast food joint, or a supermarket or something and ask for something specific like "No mustard on the burger." only to get a burger with 6 packs of Sweet & Sour sauce unloaded in the middle of it instead, I get frustrated. If I ask where I can find "Alka Seltzer" in the drug aisle of your supermarket, I don't want to be pointed towards "Mild Salsa" because the person doesn't understand what the fuck I'm saying. If I call a call-center to find out if the local server is down, I don't want some guy to say to me "Excuse me, you must have a wrong number. We don't have an oval burger."

I have nothing against an illegal immigrant working those jobs. Just invest some damn money in teaching them English first if you insist on hiring them.

On the whole, I agree, if you're willing to hire an illegal immigrant, they deserve equal pay. I just wanted to present some points for the other side of the argument.

On a side note, the iPhone still sucks, Apple are still sucking the cock of any guy with enough money to buy an iPhone, but NOT with enough brain cells to figure out that they just paid a ton of money for an overpriced piece of shit that can barely do what other phones have been doing for over 18 months. My Blackberry does everything the iPhone does, and more, with the exception of having a screen that I have to clean every 6.8 seconds.

And for the random picture of the day, some really hot asian chick that I don't know the name of:

Another wonderful update.

Yes folks, I am actually updating this blog. No, I never promised to update it every day. Yes, I will try and update it at least once or twice a week, and more frequently when possible/plausible.

I realize that someone as thoughtful and intellectually stimulating as I thinks of many random things of many things throughout each day (Thanks to my attention span that rivals that of a squirrel in a peanut factory), but I don't have time every day to update this blog (That, or I just can't be bothered, which is probably the more applicable of the two).

Anyway, I wanted to hop on and give you a few interesting links along with some thoughts that I would like to share with you.

Firstly, I would like to promote this wonderful page I found quoting the 9 stupidest things people do online. Linkage (For those of you too stupid to figure out how to get to the page, I need to make sure to eMail that guy and tell him to add that to the list).

Secondly, I would like to plug three things:

1) Calvin Harris - I Created Disco. This is his debut album, and I'm quite enjoying it at the moment. It's a mixture of dance, funk, and... Fuck knows what else. All I know is it's quite different to most of the music I've heard recently, and it's very enjoyable. My personal favourite tracks are Acceptable in the 80's (Which in itself has an 80's retro feel to it), The Girls (Which I'm not sure is actually true, but he does have a lot of comments from girls and guys who wish they were born girls, on YouTube telling him how hot he is), and Colours (I actually have nothing to comment about on this one, I just felt like writing something in parentheses because you expected me to, and also to waste 15 seconds of your life reading it).

2) Rush Hour 3. It may not be the best movie ever, but it was very fucking funny and it's got Jackie Chan in it, which means it's automatically a must-see. The plot was a bit weak and predictable, but other than that the movie accomplished it's goals perfectly; To make you laugh, and to have some very well choreographed fight scenes (And to throw in some seriously hot girls to ogle at for a few minutes).

3) Christina Aguilera, Denise Milani, Francine Dee, Kate Beckinsale, Shannon Elizabeth, and a few others I could name, but won't. No, not because of what they do for a living. I just want to plug them.


So anyway, I haven't actually got much in the way of my own thoughts to post here today. I've just been a bit too busy to actually bother remembering the majority of them. Sure, I wonder a few things, like why people bother repeating a dumb question after they've asked it and realized it's dumb, and why people get really pissed off when I respond to said dumb question sarcastically. I have a sarcastic sense of humour - Give me a reason to make fun of something in a sarcastic way, and I will.

Why the fuck do plug sockets in the UK almost all seem to be concentrated at the back of a room? Do they assume that I have no desire to put anything electronic (And not battery operated) anywhere near the front of it? I just don't understand it. Some places that are more modern aren't as bad, but the older places were awful about it.

Why does the kitchen in my flat have room for a washing machine, but no dryer? Do they assume that I automatically want a Washer/Dryer combination?

Why is crossing the names of two animals, or a random object and an animal seemingly funny? Is it because of the absurdity of the names you create, or is it the mental image you get trying to picture what one would look like? For example: Socktopus, Hedgesquid, Porcufrog, Squolphin? Why do these amuse me? Yes, I understand I'm a little nutty at times, but I still find them amusing. Questionable.

Anyway, enjoy your life until my next post if that's at all possible without my wonderous mind and random internet findings.

Oh, and visit Explosm.net - Great comics. Highly recommended, and for my picture of the day, I include one of their comics:

The Magical Exploding Yoghurt.

OK, I didn't mention this in my post yesterday, so I'm gonna talk about it today.

I bought a bottle of this probiotic yoghurt / smoothie thing from a Pret a Manger on Tuesday this week at lunchtime, with the full intention of drinking it there and then after my lunch. Unfortunately, I finished my lunch and didn't really feel like it'd sit well straight on top of a hoisin duck wrap, so I decided to hang onto it for half an hour or so, and put it in my wonderful Topman bag that I now carry everywhere, because, well... I'm sick of stuffing shit in my pockets all the time.

Anyway, I went to play some poker at my local card club (The Gutshot, which I linked to in my sidebar on this page if you're interested.), and remembered I had the yoghurt on me. I figured it was now no longer safe to drink, what having been in my bag for over an hour, and in the heat of the weather AND the Underground, so I left it in my bag with the intention of throwing it out later.

Time passes by and I get home, only to come to the realization that I still have this yoghurt bottle in my bag. I decide to throw it in my garbage can (Which was fairly full at this time, but had enough room for me to get the bottle in there and shut the lid, along with an empty McDonald's bag that I stuffed on top of it, then I relax and surf the web for a while, then go to sleep.

At about 2pm the next day, I'm woken up by a tremendously loud bang noise (Yes, I'm a lazy fucker who likes to sleep. I don't like sleeping late. Matter of fact, I hate it. I'd love to go to sleep at a regular hour and wake up at 8am or 9am all bright and bubbly, but I'm not a morning person. Even though I want to, I just can't do it. I sleep 10 - 12 hours minimum every night regardless of alarm clocks or not. It sucks). I bolt upright and start looking around to see what it was, assuming my laptop fell on the floor, or something. Finally I turn around behind me to look at the wall, only to see it covered in yoghurt over an area of about 10 square feet. The yoghurt had exploded, and it managed to escape the garbage bin, shoot 10 feet up the walls, splatter on the ceiling, and even about 15 to 20 feet down the hallway. Put simply, I'm still trying to clean it up. I even am going to need to repaint my walls thanks to the cheap paint that was on there which is rubbing off when I wipe the yoghurt off.

It was a Pret a Manger Bionic Berries probiotic drinking yoghurt smoothie thing, and put quite simply, I'm never going to buy one of them again... I eMailed Pret telling them about this, and they didn't even respond. It's not supposed to explode at room temperature. I could understand if I was heating the thing under a fucking Bunsen burner, but I wasn't, was I? That one little smoothie I paid two quid for, is now going to cost me about 30 quid. Thanks Pret.

Could you imagine the effect this would've had, had it exploded while I was on the Underground? Sure, it would've been hilarious, but it could've actually hurt someone since that lid flew off and hit my wall 10 feet away with some force, after pelting through my garbage can's lid.

I just hope that someone reading this has found a slight bit of humour out of the misery I had to go through with it. At least that way it's done something useful...

And now, for my random picture of the day:

Recent thoughts, and why I started a blog...

Ok, so. I started a blog. Whoop-de-fucking-do. Who hasn't, right? Everyone and their pet ferret has a blog nowadays, telling people "Oh, so I went to the park this weekend with Milfred and Timmy! We had such a dashing time!" etc. etc... So why read mine? Surely it's going to be just more boring shit that no-one on the face of the Earth gives a flying shits about, let alone two flying shits (Why said shits are flying is not being questioned right now, that is a discussion for later. Right now, we're just focused on the fact that no-one is giving one about this blog.), right? Well I'll tell you why... Because I'm one fucked up individual. Not mentally, not physically... Just generally. It's not that I have a mental disorder, or some defect from birth. I just think up the shit that other people seem not to, and then I question it. Not only do I do that, but I actually say the shit that you think about, but don't talk about. Why? Because I don't care. People are too concerned what other people think of them. Me? I couldn't give a shit (Again, we're not going to question why I would ever actually give a shit to someone just yet, we'll discuss that later in the blog.). So if you feel that you've finally encountered a blog that may be worth reading and is actually different, then please, read on. Otherwise... Fuck off now and stop wasting your time. Go masturbate or something. Do something more productive.

Now, for my recent thoughts, rants, & other random shit.



A time saving tip for people who insist on changing the skins of their PC software to make it look more like a Mac.

There are people out there, who actually download add-ons and skins for their software on their PC, to make it look like they're using a Mac, so I've come up with an innovative solution on how to do all this in much less time and effort, and I'm amazed that no-one else thought of it first. Go out and buy a fucking Mac! Why make your PC look like one of those cult-driven machines? Now don't get me wrong, Mac's are very well made pieces of hardware. Overpriced more than, well, anything on the face of the Earth, but well constructed. However, they are still a piece of hardware I will probably never purchase. Reason being; If I wanted to join a cult, I'd just make my own and choose a much better flavor for my poison kool-aid than Strawberry. Mac haven't created a "community". They've created a cult. Mac owners flock to every new thing Apple come out with like it's the cure for fucking cancer. "But what about the iPod?" and "What about the iPhone?" are questions people perpetually ask me. First off, the iPod is a second-rate piece of garbage. The only reason it's successful, was because it got to market early and was marketed well. It is beyond fragile (Anyone who knows me knows I had 5 iPod's within 15 months because their hard drives died repeatedly, and no, I never dropped them or did anything harmful to them at all. I babied the damn things after the first one broke), and it has as many features as my left testicle does, except my left testicle still functions properly and doesn't break at the drop of a pin. I'd much rather own one of the fantastic Archos entertainment devices, or my current Creative Zen Vision: M. Both companies make far superior products. Period. Secondly, the iPhone is a mediocre product brought out to leech off of the iPod's success. Touch screen on a cellphone is NOT a new idea. Nor is having built-in mp3 playback capabilities, or having eMail, internet, or ANY of the features it has, but they slap the Apple logo on it, and now all the Mac users around the world are creaming their pants over the fact that it's got the letter "i" in front of it's name.

But my original point is this: If you're on a PC but want things to look like a Mac, go buy a damn Mac. Just be prepared to spend thousands of dollars on proprietary hardware & software just to do all the stuff you can already do now on your PC.

And before you start commenting saying "BUT MACS ARE BETTER FOR THIS AND THAT AND OMG YOU NOOBTARD!" - No, I don't hate Macs. Yes, I realize and acknowledge and agree that Macs are better for video editing, audio work, and 3d rendering. I just don't like the company itself... Or the iPod.

Oh, and don't forget... If it wasn't for the iPod, Macs would probably be at the top of the endangered species list.

Oh, and by the way people... I had to change this font because one of my friends couldn't read it, because the browser was rendering the text too small... Guess what he was using... A Mac.



The English language, and phrases.

Why are giving a shit, and taking a shit, two completely unrelated things? But more importantly, why is it that taking a shit is when you're actually getting rid of it, but giving a shit is when you want to have something closer to you or know more about it?

Why is it that when you piss off someone, and you piss on someone, you're doing two completely (Albeit related in a strange way.) different things? Sure, you'll probably piss off the person you piss on, but it's a completely different action.

Why is it that beating on someone and beating off someone are completely unrelated?

If you can tell someone to fuck off, why can't you tell them to fuck on?

Why is it we tell people that we couldn't give a flying shit about something, but when we actually do care, we don't say "I give a flying shit!". Also, why is the shit flying in the first place? Is this something to do with our supposed evolution from monkeys? Do we still fling turds around when we're excited? Are we even supposed to?



People who think they're good at something, when they're fucking morons.

If you know me, you know I play a lot of poker. Now, I know I'm a good player. I consistently place high or win a lot of tournaments that I enter, and I tend to leave a table with more money than I sit down with... But for some reason, I seem to lose money to the people who ::think:: they're good, and actually aren't.

Now I'll be honest, in cash games, I'm a pretty loose player (No, this doesn't mean I screw every player at the table. It means I play a lot of hands). I'm aware of this... But it's part of my strategy. I do it selectively. If someone raises from middle position and is a mediocre player, and I'm in early position with a good (But not great) hand, I'll fold it. But if the same person raises, and I'm in late position with a below average hand (But not complete garbage), I'll play it. Why? Because I understand the value of position and the information I receive from it. I know that if I hit a big hand with said garbage, I stand to get paid off more than I would if I raised with a big hand, and I know that I can outplay that person after the flop the majority of the time.

But what I don't do, is limp into pots in early position with complete crap. Take for example a hand that happened yesterday, and this is the only reason I lose money. I was in the big blind with the 7c 8s, a marginal holding, and not particularly good position. The guy UTG+1 (This means the guy to the left of the first player to act preflop.) had limped into the pot (I knew from previous play with him that he's a mediocre player), along with a few other players.
The flop came down 2c 8d 2d, giving me two pair with a crappy kicker. Since I'm in early position postflop, I decide to bet out my hand to find out if there are any draws out there, or people with a bigger 8. The guy who limped UTG+1 (Who we shall now refer to as Villain.) called my bet, as did one other player who's money I took not too long ago when he overplayed his top pair into my set of J's. At this point, I realize that at least one of these two players has a bigger 8 than me. The other could be on a flush draw, also have an 8, or possibly a pocket pair looking to hit a full house, maybe even be holding a 2.
The turn comes the 7s, giving me top two pair. At this point, I'm praying that someone is sitting there with A8 or something and is going to run their two pair into my better two pair. Seeing as I now have top two pair, I feel a little more comfortable with my holding, so I bet out a little over half the pot. The Villain almost immediately moves all-in, while the other player folds. Now I'm sitting here looking at top two pair on a paired board, wondering what the fuck Villain is holding, so I go into the think tank.
Option 1) He has a 2 in his hand. Considering he limped UTG+1, this is pretty unlikely. The only hands that could even warrant this, are A2 suited and pocket 2's, however, with such a strong hand, I feel that he would just call and try to extract the rest of my money on the river. I gave this about a 5% chance.
Option 2) He's holding the same hand as I'm holding. This is quite possible. It's a mediocre starting hand in a cash game, he's hit top two pair, and may be hoping I call him with a hand like A8 or something similar, and he's trying to push out any flush draws or straight draws that have percolated. Quite a plausible holding, and about a 30% chance.
Option 3) He's holding an overpair. This is fairly unlikely seeing as anything higher than pocket 8's would usually raise preflop to get all the junk hands out. It's possible that he just limped hoping someone else would raise preflop so he could come over the top with them, but seeing as he didn't raise my bet on the flop to find out where his overpair stood, I came to the conclusion that he didn't have an overpair here, and gave it about a 1% chance.
Option 4) He has a hand like A8 and is trying to push people off of draws. The board has gotten pretty dangerous, with two diamonds, and then a 78 on the board presenting straight draws with hands like 56 and 9T, so this is a possibility, however, I feel like he would've raised on the flop with A8, so something like K8 or J8 is more likely. Maybe 89 suited. I've seen him play top pair this aggressively before, so a 30% chance.
Option 5) He's on a draw. He has something like Ax of diamonds, or maybe even something like 56 of diamonds, or 9T of diamonds, for an open-ended straight draw and a flush draw. A very possible holding, as those hands are often limped in with in a cash game in early position. 20% chance.
Option 6) He's bluffing. He's seen that I've been active in a lot of pots, and has seen me fold some strong hands. He maybe feels like this is a good spot to try and push me off of my hand and steal the money in the pot, which has now gotten to be a decent amount. A fair possibility, and I assign that the remaining 14%.

After figuring all this out, it worked out that I am only beat when he makes this place 6% of the time. That's when he has the overpair, and when he has a 2 in his hand. 64% of the time, I'm a huge favorite to win, and 30% of the time, it's a split pot, so I decide to make the call.

As soon as I call, he talks about "Not wanting to have to show this hand." and flips over K2 off-suit, for trip 2's. Pretty much the worst thing he could've had, short of pocket 2's. I was drawing dead to anything but a 7 or an 8 for a full house, and there's only 3 of those left in the deck after the other guy who folded tells me "I had J8!" so I'm about 7% to win the hand. Pretty shitty indeed.

This is the type of player who annoys me. People who don't understand that position has value. Limping in with a K2 in an unraised pot on the button is fine. You're playing your position, not your cards... But limping in UTG+1 with a K2 is stupid. More often than not, you'll throw your hand away, and lose money. What are you looking to hit? If you hit your K, you've got what is probably top pair, but are almost certainly outkicked. If you hit your 2, you've got bottom pair, and are more than likely losing. If you hit both, you've got what is probably top and bottom pair, and have a high chance of getting counterfeited and still losing the hand. If you hit trip K's, you've got a big hand, but are looking for the board to pair again, or at least pair your 2 to be truly safe. There is NO safe hand to hit OTHER than trip 2's... So remember people, when you're considering playing a garbage hand, at least pay attention to your position. 99% of the time, it won't work out as favorably as Villain's did.


Harry Potter.

OK, I admit it. I was wrong. I read the first book, and it actually rocked. After years of going "Nahh, it looks lame. I wont' enjoy it. It's not my style." I decide to read it, and now I understand. It just oozes charm and charisma. It's well-written, and very enjoyable. I recommend it to anybody looking for a good read.

I still don't really like Daniel Radcliffe though. Still not entirely sure why.



Anyway, that's enough ranting & blogging for now, I'm sure you'll get another one soon.

Peace out.


And, for my random picture of the day: